Turnaround
by Madame Solo
Summary: Your typical Seventh Year LilyJames story, but hopefully a halfway decent one. Rated T for future chapters.
1. Rejection

**Turnaround**

**By Madame Solo**

**Lily Evans/James Potter**

Your typical Lily/James 7th year story, but hopefully a halfway decent on.

Author's note:

I am Madame Solo. I write Star Wars fanfiction, don't hate me. I am also a very obsessive person, and so go through different fandoms. I always love Star Wars, but besides that the cycle has been Boys Over Flowers, LOTR (Faramir and Eowyn), Harry Potter/Ginny, Lily/James and more recently, Tonks/Lupin. Only with Lily/James though have I ever branched out from SW fanfiction and tried my hand at Harry Potter.

You might ask why. (Probably not, but too bad. Just skip down to the story.) The reason why is that nearly every story I read I would get tired of it ¾ the way through. It would never go the way I wanted it to. Either the authors would fall in love with their OC's made for Sirius and Lupin, and the story would focus on them, or it would take too long for Lily and James to hook up, or the story would be written from a 1st person perspective (Something I hate in Harry Potter fanfiction by the way) or Lily was too much of a Mary Sue. The only thing my story may be guilty of is the last, but I hope not. I like Lily.

Anyways, the point is that I wanted to write an LJ story that went my way. And so here it is. I've written more than half of it, and so will be posting it in chunks. I am in no way dedicating any promises with this story, but I think I have enough initiative to at least finish it. It's always a good sign if I work on a story about once a week without losing interest. But don't become too faithful with this story just in case, after all, its not Star Wars. I have a bad track record of not finishing stories, although (yay me) I finally finished a multi-chapter Star Wars story called Revival, to be posted on here eventually. So hopefully that's a precedent to me finishing this story. I hate people who don't finish stories.

But I digress, this not has gone on way too long. The only other comments I feel the need to make are these. First, I am terrible at titles, and chapter titles. So don't judge my story by that, I'm just not as emo as some writers here, and hence can't find good song lyrics to use as titles. Second, I don't have a beta for this story, so if you notice a blatant mistake, feel free to tell me. Email, review, whatever. And if you're interested in betaing the rest of the story as it comes, I'd love that too.

Oh yeah, and I love reviews.

That's it, I promise, onto Chapter 1.

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Chapter 1: Rejection

"No Potter, you just don't get it do you?" Lily Evans spun around angrily, her red hair whipping behind her.

The young man following her stopped abruptly, resisting the urge to push his face back into hers. "You know what Evans, I don't get it," he sighed, exasperated. "Please do us both a favor and tell me what will get you to go out with me." He instinctively ran his hand through his messy black hair.

Lily's lip curled up in disgust. "Well first off, stop messing up your stupid hair! Your ego is big enough already, you don't have to fluff it up." She stepped menacingly towards him, but he stood his ground.

James Potter dropped his hand immediately. "And if I stopped that, would you go out with me?"

Her face mere inches away from his, Lily continued, "No. If you want me to go out with you, you'd have to stop being the arrogant...stuck up…bully that you are. And since I don't really think you want to go through a personality change, I recommend you give up asking me out."

James stared into her furious eyes, and the thought of how easily he could have kissed her managed to slip through his mind. Realizing this would only anger her further, he refrained. But it took a lot of effort.

"Look Evans, I know you think I'm a terrible prat…" his hand moved towards his hair, but he quickly jerked it away. "But I'm really not that bad. I mean, yes, I can be a bit of a bully, but I can stop that, although I can't promise about Sirius-"

"What about Snape?" Lily said curtly. "Would you stop picking on Snape if you could then go out with me?"

James opened his mouth, and then closed it.

Lily's emerald green eyes narrowed. "That's what I thought." She whirled around and started towards the Gryffindor common room.

"You know that most of the time he draws his wand first, right?" said James, his voice sounding a little hurt.

Lily turned her head to look back at him. "Yes, but even you can't deny that you go out of your way to pick on him."

Knowing he could not dispute that, James watched Lily slip through the Fat Lady's portrait.

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An hour later James returned to the common room. Lounging on the couches were his three best friends; Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. All three of them looked up questioningly.

"We saw her come in, mate. She didn't look too happy," said Sirius, who was trying only semi-successfully to look sympathetic.

"Yeah, she turned me down again, and then proceeded to list off my faults as usual." James plopped onto the couch next to them.

"Rotten luck, Prongs. Guess you'll just have to try again next year," said Remus, looking up from his Defense Against the Dark Arts book.

It was the last night of their sixth year at Hogwarts, and James had decided to make one more attempt at getting Lily to go out with him.

"Maybe," replied James glumly. "I don't know anymore, I think I might just give up. It's not as if I enjoy being told repeatedly my faults."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "James Potter, giving up his conquest of Lily Evans' heart? Does that mean you don't like her anymore?"

"Of course I still like her," James scowled, "but obviously my attempts aren't working. I even tried changing this year." It was true. James Potter no longer bullied anyone except a select few Slytherins who earned most of what they got. He had even laid off on pranks for the most part, letting Sirius organize the few that they did. "I don't think she noticed though. You think she'd bother making sure I was still as horrible as she believes me to be every now and then, you know? I think I'll just have to do things a little differently next year is all. Maybe be more…mature about it."

"You mean not asking her out every five minutes?" chuckled Peter.

"Something like that," replied James with a smirk.

"Well, next year will be your last chance. After we graduate, it'll be easier for her to run away," said Sirius.

"Yeah," James mumbled absent-mindedly. "Yeah…"


	2. A New Leaf

Chapter 2: A New Leaf

Lily Evans let her mother hug her one more time. "I promise I'll write, Mum…" Her mother gave her one more squeeze and released her.

"I know dear, it still doesn't make it any easier not to see you until Christmas." She wiped away the tears that had escaped her, and smiled. "Have a good year Lily; make the last your best."

Lily stepped on the train, waving back to her mother. "I will Mum, I love you!" She then disappeared into the train which was about to depart. Pulling her luggage down the packed corridors, she finally found the compartment with her friends from 7th year. To her dismay however, it was full of the 7th year male Gryffindors as well.

"Lily!" her best friend, Ellie Adams had noticed her come in. "What took you so long?"

"My mum was getting all teary as usual," replied Lily quietly. She wasn't sure how she felt about the boys sharing their compartment, especially James. But he hadn't jumped on her as she came in, in fact, he didn't seem to have noticed her at all. He was busy talking to Remus about some spell his father had taught him over the summer.

In the compartment were also Callista Moon and Helen Dames, who were the same year as Lily, but in Ravenclaw. "Hi Lily!" they said in unison, which they did a lot.

"Hi guys," Lily said with a little wave. "How was your summer?"

"Terrible," started Callista.

"Yeah, we could barely find any guys," continued Helen.

"And we were in Italy!"

"They're supposed to be all over the place there…"

"Oh, yeah, that's too bad," said Lily with a smile. As much as she enjoyed Helen and Callista, their obsession over boys got a little overwhelming.

"Look no further girls, all the man you'll ever need is right here!" interrupted Sirius.

Lily wasn't sure how she felt about Sirius. The fact that he constantly hit on her did not put him in her good books, but the face he didn't constantly ask her out was a perk. But that didn't mean she wasn't disgusted with him most of the time. "Hi Sirius, good summer?"

"Wonderful. Mrs. Potter definitely knows how to cook her pancakes!" Sirius pulled Lily next to him and draped his arm around her.

"Oh, you were at Potter's?" asked Lily, curious.

"Yeah, got in a bit of a row with my mum, you know how it goes…"

"Right…" said Lily, who wasn't sure what else to say.

"Anyways, Lily, my dear, how was your summer? Miss me much?" Lily could feel James' eyes on her and Sirius.

"Well, it was alright. I mean, my sister is horrible, but I get along with my parents fine. Oh, and I got Head Girl-"

"WHAT?!" shouted Ellie. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Lily looked at her apologetically. "Well, I found out after you last sent me an owl, so I couldn't write you."

"Yeah, whatever, do you know who the Head Boy is?" asked Ellie.

"Uh, I am," said James quietly.

Silence filled the compartment. Even Callista and Helen stopped talking. Lily's eyes were wide, and she stared at James.

"But…you're not even a prefect!"

"Yeah," he said sheepishly, "I guess Dumbledore thought I earned it or something."

"Why?" said Lily before she could help herself.

James looked a little taken aback. "Well, I guess it could be that I get good grades, or…something…" he looked away from her, trying not to show his disappointment. He had been hoping that maybe earning Head Boy would change Lily's outlook on him.

"Yeah, that must have been it," Lily said after a moment. "Well, uh…congratulations?"

"Yeah, you too," James tried to put as much sincerity in his words as possible.

"Uh, guys? You do realize we have a meeting in two minutes," said Remus.

"Oh, I forgot!" said Lily jumping to her feet.

"I'll be there in a second," said Remus, as James stepped out of the compartment with Lily following him.

As soon as the compartment door shut, James turned to Lily who was much closer than he had thought. As a result, Lily's face was directly in front of his chest, which made her step back hurriedly.

"Look, Lily…" James started. When she didn't object, he continued, "I just want you to know I won't bother you this year. I mean, with us working together and stuff. I'll try to make working with me as painless as possible, I promise," he flashed his stupid grin, which for once didn't piss Lily off.

"Oh, that's…thank you. I'm sure we'll work together fine." James snorted, which caused Lily to grin too. "I mean, I won't cause problems either. Unless," she said with her finger pointed at him, "You start something first."

"What if I want to start something first?" James teased.

Much to Lily's embarrassment she started to turn red. She was used to Sirius' pick-up lines, but not James'. Just as James started to regret what he had said, Remus joined them in the corridor.

"What, you guys not there already? Well come on!"


	3. Good

Chapter 3: Good

"So," asked Ellie as she began to unpack her luggage, "was working with James as bad as you expected it to be?" They were in Lily's private room, a privilege of being Head Girl. The only down side was that she had a common room connected with James' room.

Lily, who was unpacking, gave a small glare at her friend. "How do you know what I was expecting it to be?"

"Oh please," said Ellie, "I saw you're 'it's the end of the world' look when you found out he was Head Boy. You're a little obvious sometimes." She brushed back her chestnut colored hair with her hand and continued to force the wrinkles out of Lily's clothes.

"Am I really?" asked Lily, a little horrified at her behavior.

"Yes!" said Ellie, "You definitely have a different manner when dealing with James Potter. He's not that bad you know-"

"Just because you're friends with Remus does not mean you 'know' James Potter," Lily said with a haughty look on her face. Ellie had been study-buddies with Remus for the past two years, because she was good at Charms and he was good at Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Well I know James a lot better than you do, despite the amount of time you spend yelling at him!"

"Yeah, speaking of the nuisance, I have to patrol with James tonight, so I'll see you later," said Lily, disappointed at having to leave Ellie. They always caught up on all the drama the first night back.

"Don't enjoy yourselves too much," replied Ellie, giving a smirk so disgusting Lily threw a pillow at her.

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James was sitting in the Head common room, playing a game of wizard chess with Sirius.

"So Prongs, I haven't heard her yelling at you yet, that's a good sign, right?" asked Sirius after directing his knight to take out a particularly zealous pawn.

"I guess. But that's probably just because I haven't done anything particularly annoying yet. I will soon though, I'm sure."

"Oh, muffin," said Sirius in a sickeningly pouting voice. "You musn't lose hope, it's not like you. Although I approve of you not asking her out every second, that definitely did not work."

"Yeah, well I'm not really sure how I can redeem myself-"

"Ready to go on patrol, Potter?" asked Lily as she jogged down the stairs.

James stood up quickly, knocking over the chess board by accident, and ignoring Sirius' "Oy!"

"Yeah, do you have any idea where we'll start?"

Lily's hands fumbled with her watch. "Well, we have to patrol the entire castle tonight because we haven't assigned the prefects to do it yet. So I thought we'd go from the bottom up."

"Dungeons first, eh?" James hoped fervently that they would not run into any of his Slytherin "pals" so he wouldn't do something stupid.

"Yeah, think you can handle it, Potter?" said Lily with cock of her head, her eyes narrowed.

"Of course. I'm not Head Boy for nothing!" he laughed half-heartedly, for even he himself didn't know why he had been appointed Head Boy.

"Right, well, lets go," and Lily made her way through the portrait hole.

"Good luck, Prongs," said Sirius with a wink.

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Much to Lily's relief, they had not run into any Slytherins in the dungeon. For one thing, Lily didn't want to have to yell at James again, and for another she didn't want to deal with them.

They had made it to the third floor before James decided to start a conversation.

"So, Lily…do anything interesting this summer?"

"Not really. I mostly just put up with my sister. She hates me," Lily always felt awkward talking about Petunia, as if she should be ashamed of her sister as much as her sister was of her.

"Why?" asked James, who couldn't understand how Lily could be a bad sister.

Lily stopped, "Because I'm a witch."

"Oh," was all James could think of saying. "Er, your parents are muggles, right?" He already knew the answer, as he had hexed Snape more times than he could count for calling Lily a Mudblood.

"Yeah, so I guess my sister thinks I'm a freak or something. Anyways, I don't really want to talk about her, she's infuriating."

James couldn't stop himself from saying, "You brought her up." After he said it though, he mentally hit himself. She would surely blow up on him now.

But to his surprise Lily only laughed. "Yeah, I guess I did. Well, how about you? Anything interesting for you happen this summer?"

They continued walking. "Uh, nothing out of the ordinary. Sirius came to live with us-"

"I heard."

"Besides that it was pretty uneventful. No summer hookups or anything." Lily rolled her eyes, and James quickly added, "Not like that happens a lot or anything."

Lily laughed at him, obviously knowing he was lying. James wasn't proud of the summer after Fifth year, but Sirius was and so rumors had flown. A little disappointed at himself for bringing the subject up, he decided to torment Lily. "What about you, any summer loves?"

Lily knew he had more than just idle curiosity, and looked at him. "And if I did?"

James blinked surprisingly, "Uh, well…I'd congratulate you at finally breaking out of your Evans shell."

"Well, then no congratulations are in order then," said Lily a little sadly. "In fact, I spent most of my summer with my family."

"Good," said James without thinking. When Lily scowled at him, he added quickly, "I mean, I'm glad you didn't get your heart broken or anything. I know how much that hearts."

"And when has James Potter ever had his heart broken?" Lily said, teasingly.

James stopped walking and looked at her. "Do you really have to ask that question?"

Realizing what he meant, Lily stuttered, "O…Oh."

After a few moments of silence, they continued walking but didn't speak until they returned to their common room.

"G'night," James mumbled before heading to his room.

"Good Night," Lily replied shyly, and went into her own room, throwing herself on her bed.

She wondered for the first time if maybe James really _did_ feel something real for her, and started to regret how mean she had been.


	4. Idiot

Chapter 4: Idiot

The first few weeks of school were rather uneventful, however Lily was very busy. With her 6 NEWT classes and her Head Girl duties, she was practically running on empty.

That being so, she also had less stress when dealing with James. He hadn't pestered her endlessly, and they even got along during the prefect meetings. But there was no mention of James' admission the first night.

Ellie and Lily were, as ever, inseparable. However, for the first time in six years, the Marauders had begun to hang out with them on a daily basis. Ellie thought it stemmed from her and Remus studying together; Lily had no idea for the reason, but was reasonably suspicious. She didn't trust the Marauders, especially Sirius and James, any farther than she could throw them.

On a sunny Friday afternoon, Ellie and Remus found themselves in the library, writing a Potions essay. Their studying together had expanded to all classes, not just Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"So," said Ellie, flipping a page of her Potions textbook, "Have you noticed anything odd about Lily and James lately?"

"What do you mean?" asked Remus suspiciously. He knew James still adored Lily, but wasn't sure how much Ellie knew.

"Well, they haven't been yelling at each other, or rather, Lily hasn't been yelling at James. It's almost as if," she paused, as if what she was about to say was too unbelievable to be true, "It's almost as if they're getting along."

Remus just laughed. "I know it's pretty weird, but I'm not going to complain about it. Besides, haven't you noticed? James hasn't been asking her out nonstop. I'm pretty sure that's why Lily's cooled off."

"Yeah, maybe," said Ellie. "But still, she used to HATE him. Now they're almost like buddies!"

"I know what you mean, it is weird."

They continued writing for a few minutes when a fifth year girl from Ravenclaw ran out of the library in tears.

"Wonder what that was all about…" muttered Remus.

Ellie looked at him, surprised. "Didn't you hear? That's Janet Jaynes; her parents were aurors."

"Were?"

"Yeah, they were killed by Death Eaters on Tuesday." They both sat in silence, reflecting the dark times they were in.

"It could happen to anyone," Ellie said quietly.

Remus looked at the door where the girl had run out. "I know. That's why it's so scary."

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James walked into the Head common room, his stomach full from dinner. He had been playing a game of Exploding Snaps with Sirius in the Gryffindor common room when he had realized there was still a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay he needed to finish.

As he entered the common room, he found Lily in there already, working on her own Defense essay. She looked up from her work to see what James wanted. He didn't realize he had been standing there looking at her for wanted 30 seconds.

"So, working on the DADA essay, huh?" he asked, casually sitting down on the couch next to her.

"Yes, and it's proving to be very annoying," she said absentmindedly, having already turned back to her essay.

"So Evans," James started, not knowing how far he should push his luck, "You have to admit, these past few weeks…well, it hasn't been too bad working with me has it?"

Lily looked back up at him and cocked her head. "Actually James, it hasn't." She turned back to her essay, which James looked at over her shoulder.

"Actually, _Vevarci_ isn't a counter spell to the bone breaking curse," he told her, pointing out a mistake in what she had written.

"Oh…you're right, thanks."

"You know, if you want, I could help you out with this essay. Lupin's taught me a few things about Defense Against the Dark Arts," James continued, cautiously.

"Sure," said Lily. "Read this part over, will you? I'm not sure it's correct," she turned her head to look at him, only to find his face right in front of hers. Her eyes widened in surprise.

James' couldn't help but look at Lily's lips, then back at her eyes. They stayed frozen for a moment before Sirius barged in and said, "Boy, don't you two look cozy?"

Lily jumped as far away from James as she could manage while sitting. James leaned back, groaning. "Oy Sirius, what do you want?"

"Maybe I was just coming to say hello to my Lilyflower." He jumped onto the couch between them, putting his arm around Lily. "I know James is cute, but darling, you could do so much better."

Lily playfully patted his arm, batting her eyes. "I know, that's why I'm completely enamored with you darling!" She fell into his lap, giggling hysterically.

A flood of jealousy instantly filled James, which Sirius must have sensed since he changed the subject. "Hey, did you guys hear about Janet Jaynes' parents?"

Lily nodded solemnly, but James shook his head, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. Lily whispered softly, "Voldemort killed them."

James let out a small "Oh…" and the room broke out in a somber silence. "I wish I could do something you know, about all these attacks. I feel helpless."

Lily nodded in agreement. "For awhile I wanted to be an Auror for that very reason. But then I found out how long it would take and knew it wasn't worth it. There has to be something we could do that would stop him sooner."

"I know how you feel, its like we'll never be able to do anything in time-" Sirius was interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll get it?" he jumped up and opened the door slowly, letting a sixth year Hufflepuff girl in, her raven hair bouncing behind her.

"Hi James," she said, batting her eyes. "Are you ready for our date?"

"Er, hi Sarah," James mumbled, cursing his luck. Just when he'd gotten Lily to talk to him…

"Well, I guess you can help me with my essay when you're less…occupied. Wouldn't want to spoil your fun." Lily found herself disappearing into her room, not understanding the surge of anger she felt at the sight of James with a black-haired, busty, Huffelpuff bimbo.


	5. Emptiness

Chapter 5: Emptiness

It was the third week of November, and Lily found herself in the Gryffindor common room, laughing and joking with Ellie, Remus and Sirius while James and Peter were serving a detention for putting slugs in McGonagall's orange juice.

For some reason, as the night progressed, Lily blushed more and more. Maybe it was because of the butterbeer Remus had pulled out from the Marauders' Hogsmeade stash, or maybe it was the fact that her three friends would not let up on the subject of James.

"Oh, and you won't believe it," started Sirius, practically choking himself on his own butterbeer. "I walked into their common room and found them barely centimeters apart, Lily redder than she is now, and James as elated as he was when he got his OWLs back. You should have seen her jump away from him!"

Lily threw him a dirty glare, "I'm right here you know!"

"I know sugar, it makes it even better!"

Remus whispered something into Ellie's ear, glancing towards Lily, and she erupted in laughter. Just as she was about to throw her butterbeer onto Ellie's lap, Lily noticed an owl tapping on the window nearest them.

With one last glare, she got up and opened the window, quickly shutting it after the bird hopped in, not wanting the rain to surge through. The owl shook itself, flicking water droplets onto her hand, but all Lily could see was the black envelope with her name on it. Trembling, she took the letter from the bird, opening it with shaking hands.

_Dear Ms. Evans,_

_We regret to inform you that at 8:00 AM this morning there was an attack on your home by those calling themselves "Death Eaters." Part of a large assault on the neighborhood of Little Whining, your home was partially destroyed. We also offer our condolences for the death of your parents, Mr. Carl Evans and Ms. Jane Evans. Attached is a letter from your sister, Petunia Evans, obtained by the Auror assigned to the Little Whining attacks._

_Again, we offer our deepest regrets._

_Sincerely,_

_Dorothy Masterson_

_Head of the Auror's Department_

Lily felt tears in her eyes, which spilled down on the second letter as she opened it.

_Lily,_

_As you probably know, our parents are dead. I know they were attacked by one of your kind, so you must have done something to upset one of them. I blame you, but I know they always wanted us to get along. So I'm letting you know the funeral is in two days (the 20th). I won't cry if you don't show your face._

_Petunia_

Lily stared at Petunia's letter, frozen. When Ellie called her name questioningly, Lily just turned towards the exit and threw the letter at her. The tears pouring down her face now, Lily made her way as fast as possible towards the portrait.

Just as she was about to exit, James came in, Peter close behind. "Woah, Lily, what's wrong?" Lily only shook her head, pushing past him and running into the corridor.

When she finally reached her room, she let her sobs control her and flew herself onto her bed.

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Ellie had walked her to Hogsmeade where she would be able to apparate home. To the funeral. Because her parents had died. Lily's mind was full of grave thoughts. She did not desire to see Petunia again, especially after her letter. But she knew that if she didn't go to the funeral she would always regret it.

"Will you be alright by yourself, Lils?" Ellie's voice broke Lily out of her stupor.

"Yes, Ellie, thank you. I will be fine." It was almost as if she was reassuring herself more than her friend.

"Well…take care then. Don't listen to anything Petunia says, she doesn't know what she's talking about. I'll see you when you get back." Ellie drew Lily into a tight hug.

Nodding a silent thank you, Lily focused her mind on her home. A second later she was there, a loud pop resounding through the silent air.

Everywhere was still. Lily looked up at her house, or what was left of it. It looked as if a plane had crashed on the west side of the house, totally destroying everything in its path.

Lily felt herself walk through the doorway. The door had fallen off during the violence. Debris crunching beneath her feet, Lily walked into what had been the living room. Glass and pieces of furniture were everywhere. She glanced down on the ground, seeing the various broken frames of family photos. There was the family portrait they had taken before Lily had left for Hogwarts, then the photo of Petunia going to her first dance and then the photo of Lily in her dress robes that her mother had made her take.

Without a word, Lily moved on through the house. She walked past her parent's bedroom; she couldn't look in there, not yet. She moved on to her own bedroom.

Barely anything was left. The bright blue décor was tarnished by the fact that nothing in her room was still in one piece. Going into what had once been her closet, Lily rummaged around until she found the shoebox with all of her letters from the wizarding world. She pulled out her first letter from Hogwarts, the first letter she had been sent by Ellie, and more and more letters until she finally held the congratulations at becoming Head Girl.

Not able to contain herself any longer, Lily felt the tears flow down her face. Her family, her life had all been destroyed. And all she had left were broken pictures, and damaged memories.

"I had rather hoped you wouldn't come."

Lily whirled around, holding her shoebox. "Hi, Petunia."

Her sister sniffed at her, nodding toward the shoebox. "Lucky for me my room is still basically intact. I was also lucky in that I was out of the house. Or else I would be dead too."

Lily nodded somberly.

"Is that all you have to say Lily? Is that all you have to say when you know it's your fault they died?!" Petunia was in a rage now.

"Petunia, I had no way of knowing that-"

"Yes, but they wouldn't have even come here if you weren't one of them! You know Lily; deep down you know it's your fault. And I will never be able to forgive you."

Petunia turned around, walked towards the entrance of the house. Lily ran to catch up with her, and grabbed her sleeve. Petunia whipped around and glared at her. "You are not my sister. I hate you." She stalked off, but not before Lily could see the tears streaming down Petunia's face.

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The funeral had not been a pleasant one. Lily had wondered what magnificent lies Petunia had told, because everyone at the funeral seemed to snub her. She wondered how her sister could blame Lily for their parent's deaths without revealing she was a witch, but she didn't dwell on it. She couldn't help but feel partially responsible for them dying.

It was true, the attack on Little Whining had been a random attack on muggles and not Lily's family personally; however, Lily felt that if she had been there she may have been able to prevent her family's death.

Now she was on her way back to Hogwarts, walking from Hogsmeade slowly so she could think. Grief still consumed her, and she felt empty and lost. She didn't know how she should feel, but she knew her parents wouldn't have wanted her to be so sad. She knew they wanted her to be happy. But that didn't ease her pain.

She reported to Professor McGonagall that she had returned, and was offered a comforting pat and told she had been excused from classes for the entire week.

Exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day, Lily dragged herself to her common room, hoping to find Ellie waiting for her.

Instead she found James Potter.

"Where's Ellie?" He looked up, worried. He had his hands in his lap and he was sitting there quietly. He must have been waiting for her.

"She's studying. She told me to tell her when you got here though. I let her use me and Sirius' mirrors." He flashed the mirrors that he and Sirius used to communicate across classrooms and common rooms.

"Oh, I see." Lily sat herself on the couch next to James, and she could feel her eyes become heavy again.

"I'll call her if you want, but you know I'm always here to lend a shoulder to cry on if you need one."

Lily snapped back with a sudden anger she didn't know was in her. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Comfort dear Lily, poor Lily. Maybe in her grief you'll get to second base!"

"That's not what I meant," said James quietly.

Not understanding what had come over her, Lily put her head in her hands and began to cry. After a few moments, James put an arm around her, and Lily pulled herself towards him and began to cry harder.


	6. Consoling

Chapter 6: Consoling

By Christmas, Lily had begun to heal. She was amazed at how easily she had slipped back into her normal routine, and would even experience brief periods of time where she wouldn't think about her parents at all.

As Christmas drew closer, Lily had begun to worry. She didn't think she could stand a Christmas alone at Hogwarts since she had always gone home for the holidays before. Luckily, Ellie had told her that her mother insisted Lily spend Christmas with them, and so Lily now found herself baking cookies with Mrs. Adams.

Lily was very thankful to the Adams', because she knew without them she would have probably fallen apart. With them she was actually able to enjoy parts of the holiday.

Ellie's mother was a very boisterous witch who seemed thrilled at having Lily invade her home. She had dark brown hair which bounced up and down with every step she took. According to Ellie, she was a very talented Auror, in addition to being a gifted cook.

Ellie's father in contrast was a quiet man who enjoyed his Ministry job as a member of the Floo Network Authority. He was obviously very enamored with his wife, and the two would take to dancing around the kitchen.

As much as Lily liked Ellie's parents, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Never again would Lily's parents dance around the kitchen, or make sweet comments to each other at the dinner table.

Even now, as she was rolling out cookie dough on the counter, Lily felt the pang of missing her mother. Ellie's mom was wonderful, but not as wonderful as Mrs. Evans had been.

"You alright dear?" asked Mrs. Adams, looking up from own cookies.

"Yes, I was just thinking," said Lily rather quietly.

Mrs. Adam gave her a sad, knowing look. "I bet you were. I was too, and I just remembered I'd forgotten to tell you. It probably slipped Ellie's mind too, she's so used to going to it every year. Every year we go to the Potters' Christmas Night Party for the Auror's department. You know their son, don't you? James Potter, he's in your year."

"Yeah, I know him," said Lily with an annoyed grin. Now this wasn't something she'd been expecting, dealing with Potter on Christmas. Not to mention a party.

She supposed there could be worse things though, and it would be good to get her mind off missing her parents on Christmas.

"I'll make sure I have something to wear later," she said with a smile to Mrs. Adams, who returned it and went back to decorating her cookies.

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Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, smoothing down the front of her dress. When she'd asked Ellie what they should wear, Ellie had told her it was a formal party and that Lily could borrow a dress if she wanted to. Now Lily felt very awkward in one of Ellie's old dresses, since Ellie was a fair bit taller than her now. Luckily, the dress wasn't gaudy or out of style, but a simple, emerald green dress. On any other day, Lily may have thought she looked nice.

The day had gone rather well, better than Lily had expected. While she had been constantly reminded of the loss of her parents throughout the day's events, she had also been able to enjoy her time with Ellie and her parents. She still did not look forward to a party, especially one where the only people she would know were Ellie and the Marauders.

Mrs. Adams knocked on the door of the large Potter mansion, which Lily felt was rather fitting considering James' ego. She was surprised however when a warm, welcoming woman opened the door and instantly hugged Ellie's mother.

"Jane, darling, how are you! And Mark, come in come in." She ushered them inside, kissing Mr. and Mrs. Adams on the cheek. "And Ellie, so nice to see you again. You look quite lovely. And who's your friend?"

Ellie grinned mischievously and pushed Lily forward. "This is my friend Lily Evans. You know, the Head Girl who works with James." Mrs. Potter smiled knowingly, and Lily felt herself turn a little pink.

"Well, make yourselves at home. Ellie, James and his friends are in the kitchen, as I'm sure you could guess."

"It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Potter," said Lily politely as Ellie dragged her away.

"You too, dear," replied Mrs. Potter as she whisked away the Adams'.

Lily was hauled into the kitchen by Ellie, where they found the Marauders munching happily on cookies.

"You boys fat enough yet?" asked Ellie teasingly, poking Remus and Sirius in the stomach.

"Oy, Ellie," said Remus, rubbing his stomach. "Happy Christmas."

"Yes, happy Christmas to you all," replied Ellie.

Lily felt James' eyes on her, but was suddenly pulled into an embrace from Sirius. "Lilyflower, you made it! We wondered if you'd come with this one," he jerked a thumb towards her friend. "James, don't you think she looks lovely?"

Lily glared at Sirius, but James only coughed quietly and said, "Yes, you look beautiful Lily."

"And what about me?" remarked Ellie indignantly.

The five continued to banter, while Lily stood there, listening. Her mind wandered, and she began to notice different things about the kitchen. It looked much lived in, and Lily wondered if the Potters cooked for themselves or hired a chef.

After several minutes, Lily felt herself getting warm, and the swarm of people in and out of the kitchen was beginning to overwhelm her. She felt her body teeter on the verge of an anxiety attack.

"I'm going to look for the bathroom," she whispered into Ellie's ear, who nodded absently, listening intently to Sirius tell a joke about a Christmas Cherub, Dumbledore and a naughty angel.

Slipping through the crowds, Lily soon found what she was really looking for: an exit. Slipping into the backyard, Lily walked until she found grass, and then laid down on it, staring into the sky.

James found her not more than a minute later, shivering in the grass. "I thought I might find you here, are you cold?" he wore a look of concern.

"A little," Lily admitted. James took off his suit jacket and laid it on top of her. He then joined her in the grass, gazing into the heavens. "Hard day?"

"Yes, actually," when James didn't say anything, Lily continued, "I just can't get them out of my head. Like, if I'd been there and done something, we could all be together right now. I could be celebrating Christmas with MY family, instead of someone else's." She let out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about that on Christmas," Lily said after a few moments of silence.

James sighed, and sat up, and Lily could tell he was wrestling with something in his mind. Lily sat up too, and looked at him questioningly.

James half-laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, "No Lily, I do want to know. I care about you; I just don't know how to help you," he looked back at her, seeing the tears swelling in her eyes. "Lily…" he began.

"Hold me," she said quietly, and leant into his arms. Instinctively, James put his arms around her, holding her tight. They sat there for a moment, Lily crying, and James wishing he could do something more.

After several minutes of sitting in his embrace, Lily looked up at James' face, her face wet, but her eyes once again dry. He looked back at her, warmth pouring out of his eyes into hers. As one, they leant closer and kissed.


	7. Minor Misunderstandings

Chapter 7: Minor Misunderstandings

"So Prongs, I saw you go outside after Evans at your parents' party," Remus mentioned a little too casually. He was stretched out across James' couch, an hour before they were all supposed to Floo back to Hogwarts.

James, who was munching on a leftover cookie, didn't look back at Remus. "Yeah, what of it?"

Sirius leant forward and stole what remained of James' cookie. "Did you get lucky Prongs?" To Sirius' surprise, James started blushing. "What? You did! You and Lily did something!"

All three boys surrounded James and started poking him. James fell over while trying to defend himself from the jabs.

"Alright, alright!" breathless, James righted himself. "So we kissed big deal! It's nothing to get excited about."

Peter started laughing, "You are such a liar. You've waited for this for three years!"

"Yeah, Prongs, all you've talked about for ages is Lily Evans. Aren't you the least bit excited about finally going out with her?"

"Going out with her?"

Sirius looked aghast. "You ARE going out with her, aren't you?"

James turned redder and said, "Well, we actually didn't really talk about it. She was sort of…crying."

"You kissed a girl while she was crying!?" Sirius looked like he was about to burst with laughter.

"Well, I mean…hey, she kissed me!" Sirius gave him pointed look. "Fine, we kissed each other. But it wasn't like I took advantage of her or anything, she asked me to hold her."

Remus looked amused. "You know this means that she likes you, right? And if she likes you, I bet she wants to go out with you."

"Do you think so? I'm sort of afraid to ask her again-"

"Of course we think so," interrupted Sirius. "I can just see it now: In two years, we'll hear the pitter patter of little feet."

"Oh, shut up Padfoot," but James was smiling despite himself. Lily Evans finally liked him back.

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James practically skipped back to the common room he shared with Lily. His insides were soaring; he couldn't wait to see her again. He knew that finally they would be going out. After waiting for so long, he had finally won Lily's heart.

As he pushed his way into the common room, he caught site of Lily reading a book. She didn't notice him come in, and James just stood there, appreciating her beauty in the flickering light of the fireplace.

She looked up. "Oh, hey James. Good to be back, isn't it?" and she went right back to her reading.

James was startled by how normal she was acting. Wasn't it just a few days ago when they had kissed on his backyard lawn? "Um, yeah," he said after standing their awkwardly for a few seconds. He sat down on the couch next to her. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, a muggle book," said Lily absentmindedly. "My parents gave it to me a few years ago; I picked it up when I got back. Ellie and I got here about three hours ago." When James didn't say anything for several moments, Lily looked up at him. "Something wrong, Potter?"

Her use of his surname brought him out of his confused reverie. "Potter? I thought we were using first names now." His eyes squinted at her, but she simply looked back down at her book.

"Sorry, old habits you know. Must have slipped." She turned a page in her book, apparently not aware of James' partially open mouth.

After sitting in amazement for a few minutes, James got up. "Well, I'm going to go unpack. Um, see you later." Lily nodded, still immersed in her book.

James walked into his room, his heart sinking. Things hadn't changed, Lily didn't like him still. Why had he ever thought they would get together?

Closer to crying then he had been in years, James plopped himself onto his four-poster bed.

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The other Marauders instantly noticed James' sullen attitude, but said nothing about it. They knew it must have to do with Lily, and they knew better than to pry. James was always touchy on that subject.

Still, Sirius watched James stare sulkily at his paper all through Charms class, trying to decide how he could best make his friend feel better. He knew he was walking into dangerous territory, but he decided to approach the subject of Lily.

"Mate, did you talk to her at least?"

James blinked several times, but continued to stare at his parchment. "That's the problem, Padfoot, it's like it never happened."

Sirius thought it might have been something like that. Girls had an odd way of assuming the worst until they were set straight. "You should talk to her, Prongs. Start the conversation."

James nodded, and stole a glance at Lily, who was talking animatedly to Ellie. The glass ball they were given to practice already twinkled with colors and flame inside of it.

When the class was dismissed, James made his way straight towards her. She was packing up her bags, still talking to Ellie. He tapped her on the shoulder, and she looked up, her eyebrows raised. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" James thought his voice sounded rather gruff, probably because he had barely used it the past few days.

Lily opened her mouth, but Ellie got to it first. "Oh, do you have 'Head boy' business, James?" She winked at him, and then patted Lily on the shoulder. "I'll leave you two alone, wouldn't want to interfere with 'Head duties.'" She left laughing, leaving Lily behind blushing slightly.

"What do you need, James?"

James glanced around at the still full classroom. "Um, I meant in private." Lily shrugged and walked out the door, James only just realizing he was supposed to follow her. She walked down the corridor until she identified an empty classroom, and went into it. Shaking, James slipped in after her, closing the door shut behind them.

Lily was waiting for him, still adorning her only mildly curious look. "So?" she asked.

James put down his books and rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly. "Lily, I'm confused. I thought we-well, I thought something had happened between us over break, at my parent's party. But then I get back here and you just act all normal, as if we never kissed." He looked back up to her, letting his hand drop. He finished lamely, "I'm just confused."

Lily opened her mouth, and then closed it. Then she did it again. Finally, she put her books down as well, and sat on a desk close to James.

"Look, I didn't mean to confuse you, its just…well, I just thought you were only trying to make me feel better. You know, comforting a friend."

James raised an eyebrow. "Do all of your friends comfort you with a kiss?" His words didn't disguise the hurt on his face. She thought their kiss hadn't been real, and that saddened him.

A small smile crept onto Lily's lips. "Well, no, but I didn't think you'd know any other way to comfort a girl."

"I don't kiss girls unless I mean it, Lily." She looked at him pointedly. "Alright, I don't anymore, and I never would with you."

She sighed, and stared intently at her feet. She wasn't helping James at all, but at least she wasn't angry at him. He decided to take his chances.

"Lily, I meant that kiss in every possible way. It was meant to comfort, but only because I really care for you. It wasn't a pity kiss." She looked up at his last sentence, her eyes determined.

Afraid he had said something wrong, James broke eye contact, only to be stunned when he felt Lily's lips on his. She was kissing him. Lily Evans was kissing him, James Potter. His heart soared, he dared to hope…

Lily broke their kiss. James eyes were wide, and he prayed that she wasn't regretting what had just happened. He began to open his mouth, but Lily got to it first.

"I know this is probably stupid and just a tad ironic, and that I'm not in a good point of my life right now, but would you like to go out with me?" Lily exuded confidence with only a hint of fear at how he would respond.

James could only stare, his mouth gaping open. Finally, he managed, "M-me?"

A smile instantly donned Lily's face. "No, the smart looking bookshelf behind you-of course you! Come on Potter, going to refuse me?"

"I thought we were done with surnames."

"Fine, will you go out with me James?"

She was answered with a breathtaking kiss, and they didn't reemerge from the classroom for several long minutes.


End file.
